Elder Goddard: Week 8: Highs and Lows

Monday, September 2, 2019 7:19 AM MST

This week was an interesting one to say the least! There were lots of good, and some bad as well.

Tuesday was zone conference. It was an interesting day because we were in the same stake center for pretty much the whole day, and the whole thing was in French, so I didn't get an insane amount of things out of it haha. I understood the gist of things but never everything. It'll be interesting to look back at this zone conference when I'm at my next one, and see how much my understanding has improved.

Wednesday and Thursday were probably the days I felt for the first time like a true missionary. We were finally out in the sector a lot and taught 7 or 8 lessons between the 2 days. It felt good to do that, and I feel like my French was actually pretty good in the lessons, so I was just excited about that. I just wish I could understand people! That's my problem right now.

Saturday we had a baptism! We had 4 people baptized, 3 were for our roommates, and one was for us. It was great! They asked me to give a talk right before it started. I hope I did alright, I felt were awkward trying to express myself in French haha. But it was a good experience to do that.

Sunday it rained really bad in the morning, and pretty much no one came to church except for the people who had been baptized and were going to receive the Holy Ghost. We started an hour late because no one from the branch presidency showed up until then. It's definitely a little different from church at home haha.

After all the lessons Thursday night, I got hit with a bunch of stress for some reason, and I was freaking out honestly. I was just so overwhelmed with the language and how long I'm going to be here. I was very very overwhelmed. I felt like I couldn't do the mission anymore and I needed to go home. The next day I explained my feelings to my companion. I was pretty much dead set on going home. I went to talk with my family that afternoon, and they told me to keep pushing through. It helped to talk, but I was still overwhelmed.

The problem for me is that I feel like the days are long, and with that and having to be here for 2 years, it can be overwhelming! But that night I had a really good experience. I was on splits with another Elder in my apartment, and were talking about missions and our experiences and everything. I'm going to share what I wrote in my journal that night:

"We were just talking about the mission, and everything about it. But mostly how it changes us into the men that we need to become. We talked of patience, patience with yourself, patience with the time. patience with the language. It made me realize how easy life was at home. I had nothing hard, I had no need for patience. And that's how it still would be at home. If I went home I'd learn nothing. Absolutely nothing. The only thing is that the stress I would've felt on the mission would instead come to me throughout my life, through guilt and regret. But here, I can learn so much. I have the chance to grow so much. I was thinking about it, it's funny how time passes so quick when you have nothing to be patient about. But when your entire life requires patience, it goes so slow. And that's where I'm at right now. I need to have patience with literally everything. The time, the people, the language, my teaching abilities, my knowledge. Literally everything. And it's so hard. But tonight, I'm sort of okay with it. Because I know it will shape me into the man I need to become. Patience is the key for me right now. Nothing will come easy for me. And it's so stressful at times. But it will bring so much good. It sucks at times, but I really truly am glad to be here. Thank you Heavenly Father for this opportunity, I'm not going to waste it."

Sorry that was pretty long, but that was the climax of my week there so I thought it was important to share. Like always thank you all for your love and prayers and emails! I hope everyone's having a good time back at home. Love you and miss you all!

Until next week

Elder Goddard